In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
