Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
