Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
