i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
