Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
