I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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