you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
