How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
