I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
