if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
