Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
