I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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