..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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