saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
