these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
