Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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