come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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