he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
