Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize