one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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