God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
