I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
