she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize