she looked like the before picture.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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