we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
