He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
