I will die if light touches me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize