If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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