Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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