I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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