ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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