i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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