the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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