if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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