I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize