some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
