She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
