My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize