His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
