ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
