I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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