its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
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