its not stalking. its research.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
