I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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