Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
