Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
