yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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