Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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