She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
