I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
