I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Randomize
