God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
