Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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