she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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