No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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