you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
