I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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