Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
