Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
