I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
