okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're like the curious george of whores
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
