Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
