I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
