sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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