I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
