I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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