Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kiss
Puke
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
