Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
