Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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